In the midst of my sadness at just how unfair it all was, I was sent a really lovely message from the lady who was my LifeTeen leader in high school. KJ was pretty awesome back then, and she has since moved away and started an adorable family of her own. In her message, she wrote this:
"I know everyone will say not to be hard on yourself, but I also know that as a Mom, it's what we do. I encourage you to ask for Mary's intercession* because she can relate to you better than anyone. After all, standing helplessly at the Crucifixion, she surely had to feel like the worst Mom ever as she stood there unable to stop her son's pain and feeling somehow responsible."
I mean... woah, right? What a profound statement. But really, how true! If anyone could understand the pain a Mama's heart feels at a hurting child, it's Mary. Her Son felt the ultimate pain, made the ultimate sacrifice, for us. And she was there to witness it.
I'm so thankful for a Savior who was hung on an old cross so many years ago as His mama watched, who rose again and hugged that mama one more time as He wiped all our sins clean. I've relied on the grace of Jesus many, many, many times in the last year, and I am unendingly grateful for where we are now. This Easter was so beautiful.
Turn now as you weep
Look up to see a Savior
Oh and, sing Mary sing
--Jennifer Knapp, Sing Mary Sing
*For those of you who don't know, I was born and raised Catholic. If you're interested in what it means to ask for an intercession, there's a good article on it here.