Happy weekend friends :)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
How to Save a Life
Being a stay-at-home mom has given me lots and lots of opportunities. I get to watch my babies grow. I get all the special, little moments. We don't have to worry about putting them in yucky, germy daycares when they are still so susceptible to those yucky germs. I get to wear yoga pants every day.
And I get to watch all the seasons of Grey's Anatomy that are re-run on Lifetime. I was a freshman in college when the series began and I've watched it religiously ever since - through the horrible brain cancer-induced hallucinations and the buses running over people (STILL NOT OVER THAT) and the post it wedding. I love Grey's Anatomy. The fact that Lifetime replays them all in order is awesome, because like I said, I love Grey's Anatomy.
Well, it was awesome. Until today, when they played THAT episode.
I knew it was coming. I knew it on Friday when they played the episode where Callie had her baby shower. I haven't seen it since it first aired and I knew it was coming and yet, like that car wreck, I still had to watch.
For those of you who don't watch Grey's, let me fill you in. First of all, let's start with the fact that this episode first aired on March 31, 2011. That's right, a mere 6 days after my babies - my teeny, tiny, pound-and-a-half, micropreemie babies - were born. This is relevant.
In this particular episode, Callie Torres is 23 and a half weeks pregnant and, as a result of an ill-timed seat belt unbuckling, is sent through the windshield of her car. She's in a coma, has massive brain injuries, heart injuries, so on and so forth... and her micropreemie baby ends up being born just shy of 24 weeks.
People had mixed reactions to the episode when it first aired. There were some major inaccuracies, they missed some obvious preemie things and mishandled some very touchy topics. Mostly, people hated the singing. I forgot to mention the singing. It was pretty ridiculous. Fellow preemie mom blogger Kayla Aimee wrote a really awesome review post on the episode after it first aired. My only reaction the first time I saw the episode? I was a hysterical emotional disaster. My poor mom and husband watched me practically flood our living room I was crying so hard (and still I refused to let them even near the remotes).
I couldn't give a good review of the episode, I could barely form a coherent sentence as I watched scenes from my very own life play out on my TV not even a week later.
And honestly? I thought it would be easier this time around. It has been almost 10 months, my life is so different now. Last time I was just getting into a routine of leaving my babies over and over again. This time when I sat down to watch it, I had just laid my big, beautiful, healthy babies down for a nap - in their own cribs, here at home. And still? I had absolutely no control over my emotions. Ten months and a lifetime later, and watching the hardest piece of my life through someone else's eyes still reduced me to a hysterical emotional disaster. Those emotions are still so raw for me. I'm afraid they always will be.
What about you? Have you seen this episode? What did YOU think about it?
And I get to watch all the seasons of Grey's Anatomy that are re-run on Lifetime. I was a freshman in college when the series began and I've watched it religiously ever since - through the horrible brain cancer-induced hallucinations and the buses running over people (STILL NOT OVER THAT) and the post it wedding. I love Grey's Anatomy. The fact that Lifetime replays them all in order is awesome, because like I said, I love Grey's Anatomy.
Well, it was awesome. Until today, when they played THAT episode.
I knew it was coming. I knew it on Friday when they played the episode where Callie had her baby shower. I haven't seen it since it first aired and I knew it was coming and yet, like that car wreck, I still had to watch.
For those of you who don't watch Grey's, let me fill you in. First of all, let's start with the fact that this episode first aired on March 31, 2011. That's right, a mere 6 days after my babies - my teeny, tiny, pound-and-a-half, micropreemie babies - were born. This is relevant.
In this particular episode, Callie Torres is 23 and a half weeks pregnant and, as a result of an ill-timed seat belt unbuckling, is sent through the windshield of her car. She's in a coma, has massive brain injuries, heart injuries, so on and so forth... and her micropreemie baby ends up being born just shy of 24 weeks.
People had mixed reactions to the episode when it first aired. There were some major inaccuracies, they missed some obvious preemie things and mishandled some very touchy topics. Mostly, people hated the singing. I forgot to mention the singing. It was pretty ridiculous. Fellow preemie mom blogger Kayla Aimee wrote a really awesome review post on the episode after it first aired. My only reaction the first time I saw the episode? I was a hysterical emotional disaster. My poor mom and husband watched me practically flood our living room I was crying so hard (and still I refused to let them even near the remotes).
I couldn't give a good review of the episode, I could barely form a coherent sentence as I watched scenes from my very own life play out on my TV not even a week later.
And honestly? I thought it would be easier this time around. It has been almost 10 months, my life is so different now. Last time I was just getting into a routine of leaving my babies over and over again. This time when I sat down to watch it, I had just laid my big, beautiful, healthy babies down for a nap - in their own cribs, here at home. And still? I had absolutely no control over my emotions. Ten months and a lifetime later, and watching the hardest piece of my life through someone else's eyes still reduced me to a hysterical emotional disaster. Those emotions are still so raw for me. I'm afraid they always will be.
What about you? Have you seen this episode? What did YOU think about it?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
So What Wednesday!
I'm linking up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" for my very first So What Wednesday!
This week I'm saying "So What!" if...
-My New Year's resolution was to blog more. Eleven days in and I've only got 2 posts down (um, including this one). Oops. In my defense, my mom has been visiting since right after Christmas, so we've been busy hanging out with her!
-Sometimes, when we are particularly fussy and I've tried everything (EVERYTHING) I can, I just sit with them and let them cry. And take pictures to text to my husband with captions like "We miss you daddy!" and "Don't you wish you were here?"
-We had our 6 month post-discharge appointment with the NICU clinic and I teared up a little bit when they told us we wouldn't have to go there anymore. It was such a big step and I'm more than a little sad to leave the people who have seen us since the babies were their teeny tiniest. I am still (and forever will be) so so SO indebted to them.
-I accidentally spoiled the ending of last week's Greys Anatomy for about 67% of my facebook friends. Sorry yall.
-Maybe (and I will only concede to a maybe) its time to retire the vibrating chair.
What are YOU saying "So What!" to this week?
-My New Year's resolution was to blog more. Eleven days in and I've only got 2 posts down (um, including this one). Oops. In my defense, my mom has been visiting since right after Christmas, so we've been busy hanging out with her!
-Sometimes, when we are particularly fussy and I've tried everything (EVERYTHING) I can, I just sit with them and let them cry. And take pictures to text to my husband with captions like "We miss you daddy!" and "Don't you wish you were here?"
-We had our 6 month post-discharge appointment with the NICU clinic and I teared up a little bit when they told us we wouldn't have to go there anymore. It was such a big step and I'm more than a little sad to leave the people who have seen us since the babies were their teeny tiniest. I am still (and forever will be) so so SO indebted to them.
-I accidentally spoiled the ending of last week's Greys Anatomy for about 67% of my facebook friends. Sorry yall.
-Maybe (and I will only concede to a maybe) its time to retire the vibrating chair.
What are YOU saying "So What!" to this week?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012!
I knew 2011 was going to be an amazing year. I was settling into my pregnancy as I rang in the New Year, I was full of hopes and plans for 2011.
I knew it was going to be the most amazing year I've ever had. I had no idea that it would also be the hardest, most trying year I've ever had.
Thank you - from the bottom of my heart, thank you - to all of you who cried and laughed and sat bedside in the hospital with me, to all of you who supported me and celebrated with me in 2011. I would not have made it through this year without you.
I don't know what 2012 has in store for my sweet family of 4. But I know it will be awesome, even in the hard times. Because I rang in the New Year by kissing these sweet faces...
And we can absolutely make it through anything :)
(Don't worry, those sweet faces were in bed at their normal time tonight. But I totally did sneak in and steal kisses at midnight!)
Happy New Year friends... I hope 2012 is everything you wish it to be!!!
Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? -2 Samuel 7:18
I knew it was going to be the most amazing year I've ever had. I had no idea that it would also be the hardest, most trying year I've ever had.
Thank you - from the bottom of my heart, thank you - to all of you who cried and laughed and sat bedside in the hospital with me, to all of you who supported me and celebrated with me in 2011. I would not have made it through this year without you.
I don't know what 2012 has in store for my sweet family of 4. But I know it will be awesome, even in the hard times. Because I rang in the New Year by kissing these sweet faces...
And we can absolutely make it through anything :)
(Don't worry, those sweet faces were in bed at their normal time tonight. But I totally did sneak in and steal kisses at midnight!)
Happy New Year friends... I hope 2012 is everything you wish it to be!!!
Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? -2 Samuel 7:18
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