It was exactly one year ago today - Halloween of 2010 - that I woke up with a headache way worse than was warranted by the one glass of wine I had with dinner the night before. It was one year ago today that I looked at a calendar and counted days and thought to myself "hmmm... maybe?" but tried not to get my hopes too up again. It was one year ago that I peed on a little plastic stick and put it down on the sink and got into the shower. It was one year ago today that when I pulled that shower curtain back I could see it from clear across the bathroom. It was one year ago today - Halloween of 2010 - that two pink lines changed my life.
Ok, so maybe it was more like 6 pink lines and one digital 8-letter word. (And maybe, not pictured here are the twelve other tests I took over the course of the next week until I got in to see the doctor). The fact is, those lines were there. And my life was changed.
Those lines held so much promise for me back then, and to look at them now is so bittersweet. We had been trying for 11 long months to get pregnant and those lines were the physical manifestation of 11 months of hope and tears and "good things come to those who wait" and trying (and most of the time failing) to trust in God's good timing. Those lines held dreams of tiny clothes and nursery designs and a swelling belly.
I did not know then that I was had not one, but two sweet little poppy seeds nestled in the depths of my belly. I did not know then that not even five months later I would end up in the hospital, and I did not know then that my sweet babies would be born sixteen weeks before they were supposed to be. I just knew then that I was pregnant and I loved everything about it.
The last year obviously did not go the way I had planned when I first saw that second line. It has, without a doubt, been the hardest year of my life. But it also has, without a doubt, been the very best year of my life.
Just look at us now.