In fact, it looks like I skipped the whole month of February. Oops! I didn't do that on purpose.
The thing is (and this is me being real and honest here), I've been having a really hard time with this time of year. It was this time last year that I was big and pregnant. We had found out on the first of February that we were expecting a boy and a girl. We were planning the nursery, picking names, buying things in pink and blue. The babies were just beginning to be really active and Chris was just beginning to be able to feel them from the outside.
I was one of those insufferable women who really LOVED being pregnant. I felt amazing, I carried it well, my hair was awesome. My pregnancy was perfect until it wasn't. And now, looking back on that time in my life is so bittersweet. I was so blissfully unaware of everything that was going to go wrong. I'm glad I have those wonderful memories, but I also still mourn the trimester I never got. I have moments where I am jaded and bitter and angry. I'm not proud of them, but they are a part of me and a part of this whole preemie-mom experience.
And all I can do is keep moving forward from it.
They make it all worth it :)
Audrey is so beautiful and Grayson, my what a handsome boy! You are doing a good job mama.
ReplyDeleteUgh - that cuteness. Seriously! And you're not the only one who LOVED being pregnant. :) We are definitely trying to PLAN the next one, but if something happened next week, that would be okay, too. :)
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