Showing posts with label Grayson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grayson. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Eating My Words
I may have been wrong yesterday when I said that baby boy clothes aren't cute.
Because this frog hat?
It's totally giving the butt ruffles a run for their money.
Because this frog hat?
It's totally giving the butt ruffles a run for their money.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Two Months!
To my little loves,
Today you are two months old! Two months! There was a time that I didn't think I was going to get two days with you, so two months seems like such a huge accomplishment and an even bigger blessing. Two months - 61 days, to be exact - doesn't seem like that long but I already can't remember life without the two of you. How did I live without this enormous love?
You love your paci and your daddy's voice. You're such a snuggler now and your favorite place is curled up on my chest with your head on my shoulder. You have the biggest most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen on a baby and the nurses all love your cheeks and laugh about how active you are in your bed during the "quiet times". They say you look like your daddy but I don't really see it, I think you have my nose and that you kind of look like my mom (your grandma) did when she was a baby. You FINALLY hit three pounds just this week and now you clock in at 3lb 7 oz, which is 2lb 2oz more than what you weighed when you were born.
You just discovered your love for the paci too and you are so funny to watch with it, because you chomp on that thing like it is your job! You sleep like a champ (can we keep that up once you get home please?!?) and you make the cutest faces when we talk to you. In the picture of you with no tubes on you look just like my Grandpa did, you'll never get to meet him but I know that he would have loved you so very much. We tease you about being a wimpy white boy but you always prove us wrong in the end, and you're still my chunky monkey at 3lb 12oz (up 2lb 4oz since birth).
Look at how far you two have come in such a short time! I have said it a million times but I will never be able to put into words just how proud I am of you, my sweet little babies. You have shown me what is important in life - and there is nothing more important to me than the two of you. You are absolutely my reason for breathing.
I love you two, all the way to the moon and back.
-Mommy
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Joyful in Hope
Look at how cute my baby boy is!
No really, how freakin cute is he?
Oh, and did you notice? Did you notice he fact that there are no tubes on my baby boy's face? He extubated accidentally during his bath this afernoon and the respitory therapist and his nurse both said it would be silly to reintubate him because he was doing so well. In fact, he was doing SO well that they let me take these few pictures without anything on him before hey hooked him up to the cannula.
That's right, I said CANNULA! They let him skip the CPAP and go straight to the cannula this time! He wasn't too sure about it at first (as you can see), and the air flow made him really sneezy. But as soon as he settled down he did really well with it! Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that it sticks this time. Prayers that he's rested well and can do it. I know he can!
We are so blessed. God is so good.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. -Romans 12:12
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Woah-oh, living on a prayer
Today the babies are 55 days old.
This is significant because if they come home on their due date (which is the canned answer in the NICU, most babies do) then we are halfway there.
It's a bittersweet day though. Grayson had to be put back on the ventilator this morning. It's frustrating, but not out of the ordinary in any way... in fact, his doctor told us that "if he had come off and stayed off the first time, it would have been very abnormal." He had some fluid in his lungs and the carbon dioxide level in his blood was elevated. He was just working so hard to breathe and he was wearing himself out. It's not that he's doing bad, it's just that he's not supposed to have to be doing it at all. He's not supposed to be on the outside, he's not supposed to have to breathe on his own, he's supposed to still be a fetus.
It's frustrating and it feels like a punch in the gut, but I am still so very very proud of him. He's doing the best he can, and he's really doing so well. They assured me that it will just be a few days, a week tops, to let him rest and then we'll give it another go. He'll get it eventually. I have so much faith in him.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9
This is significant because if they come home on their due date (which is the canned answer in the NICU, most babies do) then we are halfway there.
It's a bittersweet day though. Grayson had to be put back on the ventilator this morning. It's frustrating, but not out of the ordinary in any way... in fact, his doctor told us that "if he had come off and stayed off the first time, it would have been very abnormal." He had some fluid in his lungs and the carbon dioxide level in his blood was elevated. He was just working so hard to breathe and he was wearing himself out. It's not that he's doing bad, it's just that he's not supposed to have to be doing it at all. He's not supposed to be on the outside, he's not supposed to have to breathe on his own, he's supposed to still be a fetus.
It's frustrating and it feels like a punch in the gut, but I am still so very very proud of him. He's doing the best he can, and he's really doing so well. They assured me that it will just be a few days, a week tops, to let him rest and then we'll give it another go. He'll get it eventually. I have so much faith in him.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9
Monday, May 16, 2011
CPAP, Part 2!
Today was Grayson's day to shine... and shine he did.
My precious baby boy waited patiently for his turn (I'm glad Audrey has spunk like she does but I'm equally as glad that Grayson is so laid back!) and when they finally (FINALLY) took his tube out too he settled right in with his new gear and my baby breathed on his own.
I have two breathing babies.
I just don't have words for the beauty of the last two days.
In His hand is the life of every creature, and the breath of every human being. -Job 12:10
My precious baby boy waited patiently for his turn (I'm glad Audrey has spunk like she does but I'm equally as glad that Grayson is so laid back!) and when they finally (FINALLY) took his tube out too he settled right in with his new gear and my baby breathed on his own.
I have two breathing babies.
I just don't have words for the beauty of the last two days.
In His hand is the life of every creature, and the breath of every human being. -Job 12:10
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Lighten Up
After all my feelings in the last post, let's lighten things up around here! I think I know just the thing to do the trick...
How could you NOT love that Grayson face?!?
Or Audrey's sleepy smile?
Not to brag, but man I make some cute kids!
Or Audrey's sleepy smile?
Not to brag, but man I make some cute kids!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Time marches on
It's been a few days, huh? The babies are three weeks old now (well, three weeks and two days), holy moly! Which puts them at 27 weeks (and three days) gestational age.
Here's a quick update on my munchkins:
Grayson
-We have a two pound baby!!! They weighed him yesterday and he was 2lb 11oz, but the paralytic he was on last week has made him retain a LOT of fluid and his nurse said he was probably closer to 2lb5oz or so. BUT STILL! Two pounds!!!
-And they were able to weigh him today because HE IS OFF THE OSCILLATOR!!!!!! His blood gases have been good so they tried him back on the traditional vent and so far he's been doing pretty well. (Minus an episode this afternoon where his lung secretions plugged his tube and he had to be reintubated. Scariest. Thing. EVER. to witness, at least from a mom standpoint. But I digress...) They warned me that he might have to go back on the oscillator BUT TODAY HE IS OFF. Hooray!
-He finally kicked his first infection but now they think he might have another. They repeated his blood culture and we're waiting to hear back from it... pray for a negative result!
-He's still such a laid-back baby. He hardly ever gets riled up but he makes the CUTEST faces. And I swear, he looks more like Chris every day.
Audrey
-She's still my tiny girl, her last weigh in was 1lb14oz. Not far behind her brother, and she's knocking on the 2 pound mark!
-She was diagnosed this week with a PDA. A PDA is a heart problem that is common in premature babies. Before birth, a large artery called the ductus arteriosus lets blood bypass the lungs because the fetus gets its oxygen through the placenta. The ductus arteriosus normally closes soon after birth so that blood can travel to the lungs and pick up oxygen, but in premature babies it sometimes doesn't close. They can use a medicine called Indocin (which, ironically, is the same medicine that stopped my contractions) to close it. Audrey's really isn't affecting her too much right now, and sometimes they can close on their own, so the doctors have decided to take a wait-and-see approach with her. Pray that it closes easily and doesn't cause andy problems for our baby girl!
-Her oxygen requirements have been really low lately (which is good!) although the number of breaths she needs from the ventilator is still pretty high. We're going in the right direction though, hopefully she'll be off the ventilator sooner rather than later!
-Miss Thing is still just as sassy as ever. The nurses all get the biggest kick out of her, they'll position her just right with all these rolled blankets and gel pads and she'll wiggle right out of it as soon as they're not looking and get right into however SHE wants to lay. Usually, that's with her knees pulled up and her hands up over her head, regardless of any tube or wire that may be in her way. She's set off many alarms by getting wrapped up in her tubes. She's also discovered her feeding tube, and has pulled it out no less than four times in the last three days. Girl is a MESS.
I think that about sums it up... we've been busy around here! It's still very two-steps-forward-one-step-backwards and it can be SO exhausting at times. I'm SO proud of my babies though, they are such little fighters. I'm a lucky mama!
Here's a quick update on my munchkins:
Grayson
-We have a two pound baby!!! They weighed him yesterday and he was 2lb 11oz, but the paralytic he was on last week has made him retain a LOT of fluid and his nurse said he was probably closer to 2lb5oz or so. BUT STILL! Two pounds!!!
-And they were able to weigh him today because HE IS OFF THE OSCILLATOR!!!!!! His blood gases have been good so they tried him back on the traditional vent and so far he's been doing pretty well. (Minus an episode this afternoon where his lung secretions plugged his tube and he had to be reintubated. Scariest. Thing. EVER. to witness, at least from a mom standpoint. But I digress...) They warned me that he might have to go back on the oscillator BUT TODAY HE IS OFF. Hooray!
-He finally kicked his first infection but now they think he might have another. They repeated his blood culture and we're waiting to hear back from it... pray for a negative result!
-He's still such a laid-back baby. He hardly ever gets riled up but he makes the CUTEST faces. And I swear, he looks more like Chris every day.
Audrey
-She's still my tiny girl, her last weigh in was 1lb14oz. Not far behind her brother, and she's knocking on the 2 pound mark!
-She was diagnosed this week with a PDA. A PDA is a heart problem that is common in premature babies. Before birth, a large artery called the ductus arteriosus lets blood bypass the lungs because the fetus gets its oxygen through the placenta. The ductus arteriosus normally closes soon after birth so that blood can travel to the lungs and pick up oxygen, but in premature babies it sometimes doesn't close. They can use a medicine called Indocin (which, ironically, is the same medicine that stopped my contractions) to close it. Audrey's really isn't affecting her too much right now, and sometimes they can close on their own, so the doctors have decided to take a wait-and-see approach with her. Pray that it closes easily and doesn't cause andy problems for our baby girl!
-Her oxygen requirements have been really low lately (which is good!) although the number of breaths she needs from the ventilator is still pretty high. We're going in the right direction though, hopefully she'll be off the ventilator sooner rather than later!
-Miss Thing is still just as sassy as ever. The nurses all get the biggest kick out of her, they'll position her just right with all these rolled blankets and gel pads and she'll wiggle right out of it as soon as they're not looking and get right into however SHE wants to lay. Usually, that's with her knees pulled up and her hands up over her head, regardless of any tube or wire that may be in her way. She's set off many alarms by getting wrapped up in her tubes. She's also discovered her feeding tube, and has pulled it out no less than four times in the last three days. Girl is a MESS.
I think that about sums it up... we've been busy around here! It's still very two-steps-forward-one-step-backwards and it can be SO exhausting at times. I'm SO proud of my babies though, they are such little fighters. I'm a lucky mama!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The NICU Shuffle
A couple days ago the NICU was a roller coaster. Today it is a dance.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Grayson is doing MUCH better. Still not "out of the woods", but much much better than he was. His oxygen requirements are way down and his lung x-rays are improving. Turns out he has a little infection which is what was throwing him out of whack, so they started him on antibiotics and that has helped tremendously. The oscillator is also still working its wonders, as his blood gases have been almost perfect since he's been on it.
But like I said, he started off haaaating it and never got better, so they had to put him on a paralytic drug so he would stop fighting it and let it do its job. After a couple days he wasn't fighting as much so they let him come off it, but then he started trying to breathe over the ventilator. So he's back on it. And the paralytic messes with his blood pressure, so he had to go on Dopamine to help regulate that.
Like I said... two steps forward, one step back. Round and round.
We're just working towards our big finale number, where the four of us finally waltz OUT of the hospital and INTO our home.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Grayson is doing MUCH better. Still not "out of the woods", but much much better than he was. His oxygen requirements are way down and his lung x-rays are improving. Turns out he has a little infection which is what was throwing him out of whack, so they started him on antibiotics and that has helped tremendously. The oscillator is also still working its wonders, as his blood gases have been almost perfect since he's been on it.
But like I said, he started off haaaating it and never got better, so they had to put him on a paralytic drug so he would stop fighting it and let it do its job. After a couple days he wasn't fighting as much so they let him come off it, but then he started trying to breathe over the ventilator. So he's back on it. And the paralytic messes with his blood pressure, so he had to go on Dopamine to help regulate that.
Like I said... two steps forward, one step back. Round and round.
We're just working towards our big finale number, where the four of us finally waltz OUT of the hospital and INTO our home.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Strap Yourself In
I've heard the NICU stay described as a "rollercoaster" more than once. And damn if that isn't the truth.
Grayson's doing ok. He still HATES the machine but they've been giving him medicine to keep him sedated so he's much more comfortable than he was. And the GOOD news is that the oscillator is doing what it's supposed to do - his oxygen requirements are still high BUT his blood gases have been AWESOME since he's been on it and they've already been able to wean him down a little bit. So that's a bright spot! Hopefully his stint on it will be short.
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all your prayers... they are being felt and heard and answered.
And then the up... I got to hold Audrey today for the third time! And I got to hold her for A WHOLE HOUR while they administered her feeding! And her sat levels (the amount of oxygen in her blood) stayed perfect THE WHOLE TIME!!! She's really prone to de-satting when she's being messed with so that is a HUGE deal. Preemie moms always say that they're surprised at how light their babies are, but for me it's the opposite; I excpect them to be terribly fragile, like an eggshell or a Christmas ornament, so I'm always taken aback by how solid they really are. And having her against me, feeling her settle into my chest and wiggle and breathe is just... there are no words for it. And I am SO thankful that although the moments don't come often enough, they come.
I love my babies so much. And I love you all for loving them too.
Grayson's doing ok. He still HATES the machine but they've been giving him medicine to keep him sedated so he's much more comfortable than he was. And the GOOD news is that the oscillator is doing what it's supposed to do - his oxygen requirements are still high BUT his blood gases have been AWESOME since he's been on it and they've already been able to wean him down a little bit. So that's a bright spot! Hopefully his stint on it will be short.
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all your prayers... they are being felt and heard and answered.
And then the up... I got to hold Audrey today for the third time! And I got to hold her for A WHOLE HOUR while they administered her feeding! And her sat levels (the amount of oxygen in her blood) stayed perfect THE WHOLE TIME!!! She's really prone to de-satting when she's being messed with so that is a HUGE deal. Preemie moms always say that they're surprised at how light their babies are, but for me it's the opposite; I excpect them to be terribly fragile, like an eggshell or a Christmas ornament, so I'm always taken aback by how solid they really are. And having her against me, feeling her settle into my chest and wiggle and breathe is just... there are no words for it. And I am SO thankful that although the moments don't come often enough, they come.
I love my babies so much. And I love you all for loving them too.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tough Day
Grayson's having a tough day today.
His blood gasses (the amount of carbon dioxide in his blood) have been wonky today, and he wasn't responding well to all the normal interventions (raising his oxygen level, giving him extra breaths on his ventilator) so he had to be switched to a new kind of ventilator.
Here's a good overview I got from here
We're lucky really, this isn't a HUGE setback. It's not devastating news, it's not anything that he can't bounce back from. It's helping him, more than anything, and it's actually kind of a good thing.
It's just that he HATES it. He's fighting against it, and you can totally tell that he's not comfortable and REALLY not happy. They gave him some morphine to help calm him down a little and (hopefully) give him some time to get used to it.
In the NICU, the doctors and nurses all warn you that there will be bad days. You try to brace yourself for these bad days. You hold your breath, you say your prayers, you think you're ready... And then a bad day comes. And it hits you like a ton of bricks. And you realize you WEREN'T ready for it. There's no way anyone could every be ready for it. Watching your child in pain now nowthing there is NOTHING you can do to help him is the worst feeling in the entire world.
So please, when you say your prayers tonight, say a little one for my little guy. We'd all appreciate it.
His blood gasses (the amount of carbon dioxide in his blood) have been wonky today, and he wasn't responding well to all the normal interventions (raising his oxygen level, giving him extra breaths on his ventilator) so he had to be switched to a new kind of ventilator.
Here's a good overview I got from here
The sickest and tiniest babies and those who are no longer responding well to traditional ventilators are sometimes put on high frequency ventilators. These ventilators come in four types, but the one most frequently used in the NICU is the high frequency oscillatory ventilator, otherwise known as an oscillator. An oscillator uses a very high respiratory rate, typically between 120 and 480 breaths per minute, to move very small volumes of air. Babies on an oscillator appear to be vibrating from this rapid movement of air.
We're lucky really, this isn't a HUGE setback. It's not devastating news, it's not anything that he can't bounce back from. It's helping him, more than anything, and it's actually kind of a good thing.
It's just that he HATES it. He's fighting against it, and you can totally tell that he's not comfortable and REALLY not happy. They gave him some morphine to help calm him down a little and (hopefully) give him some time to get used to it.
In the NICU, the doctors and nurses all warn you that there will be bad days. You try to brace yourself for these bad days. You hold your breath, you say your prayers, you think you're ready... And then a bad day comes. And it hits you like a ton of bricks. And you realize you WEREN'T ready for it. There's no way anyone could every be ready for it. Watching your child in pain now nowthing there is NOTHING you can do to help him is the worst feeling in the entire world.
So please, when you say your prayers tonight, say a little one for my little guy. We'd all appreciate it.
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