*tap tap tap*

Please forgive me, Blogiverse. I have not forgotten you. I have not left you forever.

But come on...








Would YOU have time for the internet if this was your life?!?

Four Months! (Well, Kind Of)

My sweet babies-



You have celebrated your first month "birthday" at home! And ok, as I write this you are actually four and a half months old. Those extra two weeks should be a pretty good indicator of how much fun I'm having with you here - I have no time for silly things like the internet!


Audrey, my Sassy, you are such a fun baby. You weigh 7 pounds, 7 ounces and are 19 inches long. You've become so alert and interactive. You love sing-a-longs with Mom and the spinning mobile on your swing and, above all, your daddy. You have all these loud opinions and you let everyone know them. I swear, you have more personality in that tiny body than some full grown people I know.


Grayson, you are probably the easiest baby in the whole world. You sleep and you eat and you snuggle. The snuggling is my favorite. When you are awake you still have that super serious way about you and I wouldn't be one bit surprised if your first words are to tell us all the meaning of life. You weigh 8 pounds, 2 ounces (EIGHT POUNDS!) and are 19 and three-quarters inches long.

Being your Mama has always been amazing but being your Mama full-time is absolutely the most fufilling thing I've ever done. I look at your little faces and I am filled with so much emotion that I feel my ribs could just crack from it. I love being your mama, I love having you home, and most of all, I love the two of you.

To the moon and back-
Your Mama

Confessions of a (Not Quite) New Mom

Who is this crazy lady they sent us home with?!?


The good thing about the NICU (besides the whole "you're there because your babies are sick" thing) is that they are really good about schedules. The nurses get the babies on a strict schedule from the get-go and they stick to it like glue for the whole time they are there. So as a parent, once you get past the whole sick-baby-thing you're able to get into a really good routine.

And then they send you home.

And then your nice routine that you've had for almost four months is blown out of the water and you're expected to do everything by yourself.

Having the babies home has been nothing short of incredible, but it definitely hasn't all been smooth sailing. For your enjoyment, here are some tidbits from the trenches...

-We had our first pediatrition appointment three days after the babies came home. I was super worried about getting two babies, me, Chris and my mom plus the oxygen and monitors out the door, so I got up super early to make sure I gave myself plenty of time. I was able to get both babies bathed and dressed, diaper bag and monitors and oxygen packed, everyone ready - I even managed to put make up on! - and I was super proud of myself.... until we pulled into the parking lot and I realized that I had forgotten to brush my teeth.

-I can only remember approximately 7 words out of any given lullabye, so most of the time when I would try to get the babies to sleep it would go something like "rock-a-bye, and good night, bum ba-dummm la la la laaaa"... About three days in, I gave up on the lullabies. Now I sing Taylor Swift songs. Because I know every word to all of those. Because apparently I'm 25 going on 14.

-Audrey has had some tummy troubles since coming home, mainly from coming off the fortifier they would add to my breastmilk in the hospital. She didn't poop for like, 4 days. When she did, I cheered. Then I texted Chris about it. And then I posted about it on Twitter. I feel like posting about my babies' body functions on a social media site was my final induction into the mommy club.

-This post took me three days to complete.

So my life right now... crazy? Yes. Worth every exhausting second? Absolutely.

Due Date

Today was the date that our babies were originally expected to arrive on.

But today my babies are 3 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days old.

I was braced for today to be hard somehow but really? I feel like today my world has been flipped right side up again after being upside down for so long.

Today I feel like I am right where I belong.

Today I should be settling into a new routine with the babies I just brought home. It's what every other "new" mom does on or around their due date and, although it's not quite the same, today that's exatly what I'm doing. I'm supposed to be exhausted and unshowered and covered in spit up. I'm supposed to be rocking babies at 3am and chasing pacis and trying to figure out how to swaddle a miniature Houdini. And after more than three months of missing out on so much "normal", it feels so good to finally be where I "should" be.

It's kind of strange though, to look at my babies and think that this is how I should have met them, Audrey with her chubby cheeks and Grayson with his head full of hair. They have changed and grown and accomplished so much in the last three and a half months and had they come today like they were supposed to I would have missed out on so much of them.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Welcome Home

Eighteen weeks ago I walked into the hospital, barely halfway through my pregnancy and uncertian of our future. Two weeks later I left the hospital, no longer pregnant and with only a pump, some pictures and a heart full of terrified prayers.

For the next 109 days, I would go back to that hospital and for every single one of those 109 days my babies had to stay and fight for their lives and I had to leave empty handed again and again.

Monday night I walked into the hospital again and then yesterday I left with my babies.



If there are words to describe this experience and these feelings, they are lost on me. It is simply the most beautiful moments of my entire existance.

Psalm 113:9 - He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.